it's over...it's over and done with =)

woohoo! so recruitment is OVER! and do i ever feel wonderful for many many reasons! it has been one crazy rollercoaster ride, filled with dramatic twists and turns. but i wouldn't change one moment of it. this experience has really tested my limits...but in the face of criticism and the constant behind the back talk (i mean miscommunication) i know i was successful, and the end results prove that. but what i learned most from this experience was that i don't need anyone's approval or recognition. i know that i worked hard. i know what i have contributed. i know that i deserve a pat on the back (even if it is from my own hand) . and for the most part, i'm ok with that =)

a few people i want to thank:

• Cara: for a coincidental potluck and being at the right place at the right time (if not i may not be in the position i am today)
• Diana: for always being the Devils Advocate, and completely understanding me, when i felt like i was all alone.
• Harbie: for being insightful and a shoulder to cry on.
• Martin: for making sure i didn't feel like i was a complete failure, and for all the hugs i get for recruiting hot gurls =)
• Chris: even though ur not an aiesecer you have been there every step of the way! thanks for making sure i know that you are proud of me and all the hardwork i put into aiesec. and for coincidentally being there when something shitty happens. ok, now that recruitment is over i will be back to normal! no more spontaneous crying or screaming sessions =)

***

Karen was wondering what s and a stood for in the previous blog. so s = school and a = aiesec. i was not allowed to mention those stressors for a period of time. speaking of karen, and since she reads my blog...I MISS YOU!!! i was hoping i would see her at wrc in victoria, but it doesn't look like that will happen. i guess i'll have to wait until christmas. but in true aiesec measure...3 months isn't really a long time =)

***

Chris and i have officially become boring "dating buddies" =) bah school! our "dates" consist of study sessions and hours of not talking to each other, smoke breaks in between class, and watching alias on friday nights haha i'm not complaining though. we had a good summer together-ish and at least i'm focused in school (haha and that unheard of!) anyways, things between us are going well and i hope it stays that way. there's noting more that i can say about this "relationship" than it's been extremely easy, natural, and comfortable. it's hard to describe. it just is...and that's the best thing about it.

i have some time to blog...finally...

it's been a stressful, crazy, overwhelming, emotionally draining...etc..month, but i'm still alive! so here's a summary of the last four weeks of my life i don't ever want to forget:

Cabin Trip 2004 Good Times
Day One
-My surprise party with balloons, candles, fog machine, and those cool lazers!
-Shot gunning beer
-Camp fire =)

Day Two
-Lazy afternoon
-Football with the boys
-Formations and Redan killing his back
-Drove Rudy back into the city
-Sober
-Campfire talks and picking up the fire
-Depressing talk with Janilyn and Chris

Day Three
-Beach Day
-Played volleyball all day long
-Cranky McCrank
-Sober while EVERYONE was drunk
-Campfire talks part 2
-Drunken Chris by the fire

Day Four
-Another lazy day
-Boys + Elaine playing in the rain
-Started drinking wine at supper
-Truth or Dare Jenga
-Dirty Minds.....
-Me, Janilyn, and Annalyn's first girl talk ever and we get food served to us
-Continued drinking until night
-Me and Annalyn starting the impossible fire (go girl scouts!)
-Only one drunk (catching up for 2 lost nights)
-Drunken Meesa by the fire with Chris and Martin and our native talk

Day Five
-Ate all of the food leftover
-Cleaned the entire cabin
-Good bye cabin...see you next year


Montreal
Day One
-Met Andrea at the airport
-Headed downtown to meet Arnault
-Arrived via cab and subway to the Happy House
-Towels and face cloths laid on the bed for us (AS IF!)
-Tour of the beautiful apartment
-Headed out to London club and danced our booties off
-Had the best 99 cent pizza ever

Day Two
-Andrea and I had breakfast at 3:30
-Had awesome conversation and caught up with gossip
-Met up with Shauna at the train station
-Headed home and had flower mango on a stick
-Got ready for supper with the trainees at a bring your own wine greek restaurant
-Danced our booties off again at a salsa club
-Walked back to Arnault's place
-Strange coincidence occurs before bed =)

Day Three
-Went to Tam Tam at Mont Royal
-Danced our booties off to awesome drum beats
-BGirled in front of the monument
-Went home packed up and missed my flight
-Came back to the city for pizza and quesedillas (i'm glad i missed my flight!)
-Chatted with Arnault and Sofien
-The Joy of Sex book (and the look on Sofien's face lol)
-The Everything a Guy Knows about a Woman book
-My last night with the girlie girls!!

Day Four
-Missed my flight again
-Stuck in Montreal
-Went to Ottawa then Winnipeg instead


Toronto
Day One
-Met up with France, Jay, Less and Andrew at Eaton Centre
-Chilled on Queen St.
-Went to France and Jay's place to freshen up
-Caught up with gossip with France
-Oleg picked me up to go to the International Film Festival
-Met Alex and Ahmed to go watch "A Whale of a Tale"
-The line up around the corner, down the stairs, then outside lol
-The guy that ripped one infront of my face!!!
-The crappy ass documentary (me falling asleep, alex playing with his phone, oleg completely frustrated, ahmed clearly upset!)
-Sushi Inn for supper and our critical review of "A Whale of a Tale"-The "where can I buy cigarettes" advenutre
-Chillin at Kev and Gen's alley
-Waiting in line at Fez
-Getting bubble tea and pizza on Queen
-Drunk girl having to pee in the alley way and alex trying to help lol
-Yoga in stilletos
-Chillin on Andrea's porch
-B and Lex the last men standing...and then they leave and Andrea and I get rowdy under the sleeping bag =)
-Shauna banging on the windowI'M HERE and are you drunk...and we stay up all night gossiping and giggling being loud and the "WHAT?? THERE WAS A DISC??? lol im so upset"

Day Three
-Walked to Yorkville to go star gazing (no luck)
-Super hungry and tired we needed to find somewhere to each and for very cheap
-Found the hottest asian guy grilling gourmet burgers on the street. stayed there for a couple hours watching him "work"
-Went to get ice cream
-Went to Queen and did some last minute shopping
-Went home, packed up, and said bye bye Toronto!


Ok, so these are summaries on only the last few trips i have taken in the past month...but i have tonnes more to blog about!! like my struggles with certain aspects of my life (the s and the a words) and the how easy some other events have unfolded. but things are getting a lot better. stress free from work since i got my new job. stress free in the relationship department since this new has been no work at all as it should be, it's all good and i'm happy =) yet the a and the s word still has to be sorted out. in time i will have my priorites straight. this past weekend has been so revitalizing. i feel so refreshed and i feel like starting over from here on out. i was reminded of the reasons i was so passionate about it all. i'm starting to discover how to approach these challenges...and in time...i will be my old self once again.

if you're wondering...i'm fine =) i know you all are worried about me, but really i am doing well!

more to come when i have some time!

i'm off to montreal...again =)

i'm leaving on a jet plane...and i'll be back on sunday. yes it's one of my spontaneous two day trips that you always hear about. anyways i'm looking forward to getting out of the city even if it's just for a short amount of time. drama drama drama. i sure do love to "fly" away from my issues haha well at least i'll get some well deserved meesa time.

when did being independent become a negative trait? apparently due to my new found independence i have become less self aware and it has become a cause for concern. i don't understand why people precieve me in this way. i spent an entire year trying to find myself. i picked myself up from rock bottom and i don't think anyone appreciated how hard it was for me to resolve my problems. if you walked a day in my shoes i think you would be proud of me, rather than look down on me. i have made a lot of choices, and who is to say whether they were right or wrong ones. you live. you learn. and as long as you don't do anything you would regret, then enjoy life to the fullest. i sure have. i have experienced so many things, and i have become more openminded this past year, and because of this i've learned more about who i am and what i'm capable of. i test my limits. and this apparently is a cause for people to become fearful of my "behaviour." if anything, i would encourage people to do anything and everything to find themselves, rather than hinder them from doing so because their actions aren't appropriate. where is this rulebook stating what is appropriate and what is not?

i've always felt that everyone thinks i've "changed so much." but really...who hasn't. i'm independent which means i can think for myself, and i can make my own decisions. i need support and not guidence. appreciate the fact that i do not hesitate and i do not hold back when it comes to my life, and i have become a stronger person because of it.

if that's not good enough then judge me all you want, because i'm comfortable with who i am.

cabin trip 2004 good times has come and gone. i'll blog about it later.

anyways, i must get going and start packing up for my trip! i'm excited to see andrea and shauna! we will catch up on lots and lots of gossip and go see strippers and salsa dance our booties off! see you in a couple of hours.

blah. tell you my blah later.