take that managerial accounting! hi-yah!

so midterms are all over and done with. and my body is really paying for it. and will continue to pay for it this weekend.

so i have endured weeks of being sleep deprived, on a caffine and nicotine high twenty four seven, and a short stint of alcoholism. i even got a quick day trip to t-dot in. and i managed to do fantabulous on my exams. well only semi-fantabulous on one of them. but meh. minor details.

so today i will continue to torture my body. then recovery will start monday. i promise!

please join me in all of the post midterm fun =)

tonight: tyc it's ladies night.
friday: movie with cara and dominika. then bar i.
saturday: abby's social. shocker. after party.
sunday: bar i.

just. meh.

labour relations

dry.

=)

i love red bull

body combat. orgasmic.

saturday. be there. abby's halloween social. shocker. after party. my halloween costume. orgasmic.

study whore mode. red bull. not so orgasmic.

not weak.

kick-ass b-day bash - celebrating shauna's 25th birthday - in t-dot oh!!

my 22 hour trip to toronto. sighs. it's not even considered a day trip. but so many memories to add to the many trips i've taken out there this year. good times. always. it was exactly what i needed. revitalized. rejuvenated. refreshed. t-dot. it never disappoints.

my t-dot adventure started when the 192 airport shuttle didn't show up. so me and three other people waiting for it just jumped on another bus and found another way to the subway station. the girl that i was with was from winnipeg. small world, and we just chatted all the way down to eaton center, where we parted ways.

i found the new h&m store...i need another day trip when i have some money. didn't by a thing at arizia! what is this world coming to.

i went to meet andrea at her office downtown...and who do i bump into in the middle of the street j walking? alex. haha so random.

some of the mc team and ahmed and tiro were there! caught up a bit before they went for lunch.
i chilled with gia for a bit. then i went for lunch at hosu. sat at the lil counter and had lunch with this really fasionable 50 something. and we chit chatted and people watched together hehe. then i went shopping up and down queen street, hit another aritzia...and bought NOTHING! i went to chapters, bought andrea a book...that's it. it was nice to have meesa time though. collect my thoughts. it was great having some time to myself that was something for leisure and not school or aiesec.

went back to andrea's office while she finished work. chatted with redan. fell asleep on a yoga mat on the floor.

took a taxi home. got ready for a kick-ass b-day bash - celebrating shauna's 25th birthday - in t-dot oh!!

met up at bank note and headed over to tangier. chilled out with ryerson. bumped into a lot of my t-dot friends! i miss everyone so much! it was a nice little reunion thanks to shanua turning a quarter of a century. or cougar in the making if you would like! i have never gone to t-dot and seen everyone there. in one room. just partying together! it was great! i dunno i can't even explain to you how much fun i had. shauna, you don't even understand how glad i am that you convinced me to come out! hun, you're important hehe and i wouldn't have missed your b-day for the world!

tangier highlights:
-getting hit on by that weird dude and getting a free drink (and evidence on the camera yuck)
-salsa dancing and merengue with alex
-bailey and tequilla shots from mykie
-dancing like we were at "tam tam" with shauna and gia
-getting "tipsy" and somehow falling to the ground with shauna
-all the rye peeps in one room at the same time
-toba repping the aiesec ryerson party
-"did you come all the way here just for shauna's?
"no...umm...yes"
"whoa. that's serious."
-city lights by jojo played...at least i think it was or i was drunk and it was playing i my head

after tangier, me, gia, lex, kev and mykie had after bar munchies and went to some chinese place. i forget the name haha sataow? lol they kept saying over and over i can't believe i forgot. anyways it's dangerous eating when all the boys are together. so much laughing and good times. you're always worried about choking on something or water coming out of your nose.

chinese food and after bar highlights:
-the crab and corn soup yum!
-lex drinking the toyo and spitting it out
-the "great" customer serivce
-bondage lady
-five of us sitting at a table for two
-filipino freestylin'
"heat your pancit. girl. reheat your pancit girl"
"i'm so init for you"

general toronto highlights:
-it was a random toronto not-even-a-day trip
-i have some awesome awesome awesome friends in t-dot! i miss you guys!
-the most hype 22 hours ever spent hehe
-i was in toronto, enough said =)

http://photos.yahoo.com/meesameesabebe

i'll probably be back in november to keep in line, since i've been to t-dot once a month since july! and then once in january for some cabin thing? let's hope so. every time i go out there though it's one more step to moving out there. *sighs* six more months...please go by quickly! i want to be a torontonian!

ok...time to whore my self. to studying that is.

not-so-weak.

city lights. jojo.

t-dot theme song. my city. my home...one day

"City lights
It's on tonight

Out on the street, I'm looking for a celebration
Come roll with me, together we can crash the party and
Get on the floor, DJ please play my song
And we can do this all night long
Once again, it is on

I'm on a highI feel like
I'm on medication
I'm open wide, and we don't need no complications
Cause I feel alright
And all I see is red lights, and blue lights, and street lights
And it's real life, is that a sign
I'm under the city lights

It's on, its on tonight
My mood is right, its on its on tonight
Me and my girls
Tonight it's our world
I'm out tonight
Yea, I'm out tonight

Come on now
It's after dark
And I love stories in the morning
I can see the stars
Expensive cars on the boulevard
And now I'm so inspired
Cause I want to buy me a Lexus
Or maybe Ill get me a Beemer or Hummer

It's never too late
There's always more fascination
Just turn the page
And I won't be hesitating
Cause I can hardly wait
Do my dance, sway my hands
Hear my jam
You can count me in
I wish tonight will never end

I'm under the city lights
It's on, its on tonight
My mood is right, its on its on tonight
Me and my girls
Tonight it's our world
I'm out tonight
Yea, I'm out tonight

meesa do that dance, meesa do that dance =) "


running away to t-dot again. if i really wanted to run away though i could be half way across the world before anyone realized it. one day off. it's my down time, to swollow my pride, lick my wounds haha and party it up with the girls! then back to reality. boo. reality sucks. just kidding. reality is treating me just fine at the moment. just needed a lil break. and shauna's bday....what a good excuse!

see you all in a couple of hours. i'm out. tonight =)

wired on red bull

it's after three. in the morning.

i'm so random. let the verbal diarrhea begin. oh red bull you've gotta love it.

i got a harsh study session in today. and i absolutely love my new secret study haven. it's a secret, therefore i cannot disclose the location. and i'm going to be selfish . because if i told you then it wouldn't be a secret! and then it wouldn't be my study haven. the "man" of my 24 hour secret study haven is wonderful and keeps encouraging me to study there every night. he wondered why i wasn't studying because i didn't show up yesterday. usually i'm his only patron from the hours of 10 pm to 3 am. (he falls asleep cuz there is no one there...i hope they don't shut down anytime soon!) anyways, all i need is my chamomile tea (and the red bull i snuck in), my highlighter, fuchsia tabs (yes there are fuchsia tabs), my smokes (for end of chapter rewards), the ipod for jojo jams and i'm all set.

hmm...so i'm killing my red bull high by creating a profile on blogger. i didn't even know this option existed so...woohoo blogger profile. i also killed some time on dennis's uber site www.dennislagman.shows.it so much fun was had. i have to figure out how to use it properly though.

meeting after meeting. had my vpr chat with jonny, it was nice to catch up. then of course one of the last exec meeting with my team before the new elects invade and double time begins...*sheds a single tear* elections are coming up. which means someone is taking over. and i will be old retired vpmd. sighs. it was bittersweet. but i was good while it lasted. some of the best times i've had were as vpmd. and a lot of learning, growing, and developing of my character, personality, professional and leadership skills (etc etc) came out of taking on this role. but it's time to give someone else that once in a lifetime opportunity. oh the memories. good times...no great times =)

sushi was great tonight! it was nice seeing jonny again. even though i just saw him last weekend in victoria and i guess i'll see him this weekend in t-dot!

t-dot t-dot t-dot...ohh...

listening to jojo still hahaha i can't get enough of it...it usually helps me get to sleep. but i'm still too wired. the happy song.

dug out the old book of meesa's writing today. it was full of cobwebs and dust bunnies. haha not really. but for some reason i felt like reading it. i guess redan inspired me to start writing again. thanks redan.

calm. for once i feel extremely at ease. no pressure. no stress. no mini breakdowns. nothing. i'm just...chill. so this is what it feels like? it's wonderful, this feeling. i hope this lasts for a while.

wow. it seems like i had a pretty eventful day. even though it didn't feel like it. oh well, all i know is that i thoroughly enjoyed it =)

"there are 24 usable hours in every day" why waste them by sleeping?

ok...so i suppose i should get to bed. even though my mind is still going a mile a minute. does anyone have some information about red bull. like if it's detrimental to my health? lol

weak-ish-ish

study whore

i went from one extreme to another in a matter of days. being sick to being drunk to being a study whore. it's great though, i've done so much more than i ever expected to do in one cram session. i'm pretty sure i can rsvp to shauna's e-vite any day now hehe i was thinking that i should go away one day every week so i can keep up with this motivation. haha ok seriously i finally have the oportunity to take some time for myself and i can sit down without any distractions (ie the a word or the a word and events haha) and i can have an actual study session without feeling like there's something i forgot to do.

q: "where do you find time?"
a: " there are 24 useable hours everyday." or something like that from empire records

i'm still haven't gotten my voice back! it's super frustrating because i can't work in a doctors office when i sound like i'm falling apart myself! even though some of my patients think my voice is super sexy because its all raspy and deep haha. so i took the morning off. i'll see how i feel this afternoon.

feelin' the love =) i have so many good friends and i'm pretty sure they don't know how much i appreciate them! i know that you guys care...no matter if you're from home or from a far. it's hard that so many of them are from out of town...but then again i don't really see my friends in the city very often either. anyways, even if i haven't seen or heard from you guys in years, months, weeks, days, i always feel super close to you guys. and i always know how blessed i am to have people like you in my life. you guys are all i need, and i have never forgotten that. hahaha that's cheesy, but i mean it! trust!

to myra my homegirl from vancity. in the same boat. for some reason we always say ME TOO!!! to each other... what was it..."we're like fire feeding the fire." haha i think air feeds the fire...we'll meet again, and have a pack of smokes, pitchers of beer, and a crazy shopping day at aritzia...this time in t-dot! - soulmate number two

to khai in japan: you silly drunk! thanks for the talk i needed that =) and thanks for the ego boost lol it's always fun chatting with a drunk. - chubs

to shauna in t-dot: happy early birthday! can't wait to celebrate with you! - miss brewster bus

to arnault in montreal: you were right all along! hahaha i'm always going to take your advice =)


feeling the jojo cd right now ya ya i know she's only 13 but the girl can sing! i love the happy song, never say goodbye, and weak. download the cd...i promise it wont disapoint. it's one of those happy feel good cd's that will sing you to sleep, make you think happy thoughts, then have sweet dreams haha =)

body combat part two. tonight.

ok back to being a study whore then off to work.

weak-ish.

weak

i went to bar i with cara, red, chris and tracy yesterday. oh what fun. i had a lot to drink...umm...more than anyone probably would've guessed. and for various reasons, like the fact that i was doped up on medications, ate only greek pasta salad at lunch, went to the gym after work and burned off the greek pasta salad, had only like three hours of sleep, and i had a few drinks while i was getting ready to go out, and i couldn't taste how strong it was cuz of my sickness...i was umm...yah hammered.

it was fun though. redan was amused! i haven't been drunk like that since my birthday lol thank god cara lives like 20 feet away from bar i so i could "recover" for a bit before going to perkins. THANKS CARA! I LOVE YOU!

i saw roj at perkins and we made up, and we're frieinds again! when we have time i get to go and visit brooklyn! and make some plans with "those guys" that we never see anymore cuz we're so busy with school and work and blah...

went home...passed out in the car...then as soon as i got home i pretty much crashed in my clothes. and i mean i was still wearing my winter jacket, stilleto boots, touque, and purse lol and then i guess somehow i realized that i was still fully clothed and changed. all i know is that i woke up in pajamas lol. i'm still hungover i think.

my sister took me on a shopping spree today, in her attempts to try and cheer me up. and yes it worked! i love spending frivolously! expecially when it's not my money! my most favorite purchase of the day: sound of music soundtrack! ok ok...the leather shoes were...but the soundtrack made me feel super happy while singing along to it in the car home haha

tonight is our second aiesec potluck of this school year and i am EXCITED...i didn't eat anything all day (well mostly because i was hungover) so i could go for seconds or thirds AND have dessert. i have to duck out early because i have to pick up red in selkirk. i know he feels bad, but hey i've made a lot of sacrifices for aiesec in the past, and sometimes it has caused me to neglect my friends. so here...i'm ducking out early to do a favour for a friend who has always always always been there for me. so i'm going to be there for him for once =)

so there...its been an eventful week...and now i've gotten all my sickness and fun out of the way and it is time to study. and like a maniac. cuz i wanna go to t-dot on saturday!

got a phone call from karen yesterday! man i missed you...expecially because it was friday salsa night, and shall we dance came out in theaters...and we couldn't been on a date together. oh i miss karen, salsa, chick flicks and gossip fridays!

and people actually read my blogger? hahaha thanks for the comments feel free to use that option and let me know what you think...

i'm weak...

"if aiesec doesn't kill me...i'm invincible"

ok...so my one and only fear has become reality. yet...i have to say i was not surprised. i have been waiting for that karma to come back full circle and bite me in the ass. and *ouch* it sort of hurts. i think secretly i have been extremely prepared for this moment. not to say that i have been pessimistic about relationships, but i have been very cautious about letting myself get carried away like i have in the past.

i've always looked at this relationship in two ways. first, from my view. i've had so many dating experiences since my last complicated relationship ended, that this was just another chapter that i could add to that long textbook worthy book. second, from his perspective. the very first dating adventure since his last relationship. hmm...now if i can remember the first person i dated after being married for three and a half years. he was one of the good guys. he was sweet and things just happened, and i so desperately wanted things to work out. and then boom. i got so scared because i was so not ready to jump into a relationship, and i'm pretty sure i broke his little heart.

i've been there. i've done that. so if there is anyone who can understand this situation, it's me. and i would be a hypocrite if i didn't. it's funny because i could never really understand him, and he was so difficult to read. yet the only time i completely understood him, was when i realized that he was trying to step back from things. maybe i'm an expert in the art of avoidance and trying to hide what you really mean to say. i saw it coming from a mile away. it sort of scares me how well i'm taking things. and the fact that i've readied myself for it scares me even more. maybe i wasn't ready for a relationship either, and maybe that's why i'm not a basket case hahaha it has to be said "i did not deliberatly hinder this relationship. i did not sabotage it to destruction." there it has been said.

anyways, i would be lying if i said i wasn't disappointed. because i am and who wouldn't be. i took a risk and i knew there would be consequences involved, both positive and negative. perhaps i was being foolish, but i didn't know it at the time. and maybe i wasn't thinking rationally, because i knew from the get go that the whole rebound syndrome was inevitable. things happen for a reason. maybe this is just opening the door to other opportunities. who knows what's lurking around the corner. i've always been optimistic. so let the new karma cycle begin =)

this is just another bump in the road of this thing called my life. i'm content like i've always been. and hey...like shauna said "if aiesec doesn't kill me...i'm invincible!" and oh it's so true =)

speaking of shauna...in the whole twist of things she has somehow manipulated me to come and celebrate her *ahem* twenty-first birthday in t-dot. ok this is craziness...but shauna knows how to seduce me to fall to her every whim. yah she's sexy. it's hard to say no to a "rack" like hers muahahahaha so hopefully (prays) for the next to weeks my diet will consist of coffee and redbull so i can study my ass off just so i can satisfy her cravings of me =)

there's nothing left than to say than:
c'est la vie, et c'est tres bonne, non?

cheers

i have laryngitis...boourns...

ok...so the constant lack of sleep has finally caught up to me. my immune system totally shut down on me this weekend and a million chiropractic adjustments couldn't help me now. for the past two days i have lounged around in my pajamas and layed in bed and watched hours of crappy movies while dozing in and out of consciousness. i'm only taking one more day off to recover from my stupid laryngitis...and then dun dun dunnn...time for the exam cram!

so let's not talk about school on my day off...

i just got back from an eventful weekend in victoria! it's a gorgeous little island. and one day i hope i get to see the rest of it, instead of being confined in the days inn of all places for three whole days. anyways, there were so many new people at this conference it made me feel really old! but all in all i had a good time...my only regret is that i enjoyed it soOoOo much that there is the aftermath to deal with...and the pain i'm feeling now...

so...people often come to me for dating advice. people think i'm insightful...as if i know what i'm taking about. hahaha but really, i just have a lot dating horror stories to share. and then i say "dude. don't make the same mistakes i did." =) too bad i don't listen to my own advice. maybe this whole dating experience has made me a lil too cautious for my own good. and being over analytical doesn't help much either. but nothing a good expectation setting session can't fix lol =)

ok to my twenty somethings: i got this in an email and i was too lazy to forward it:

"BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.

You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion........ "

yep...i read this and felt like i wrote it. i guess it summed up everything i have been thinking for the past little while and it's strange how so many people relate to it. meh...i guess that's what its like to be twenty-something.

on a more stupid note...am i the last to know about everything! i literally have been living under a rock for the past two days cuz of my sickness...but man i missed out on a lot of gossip! mitch and andrea? i found out on the stupid gossip aiesec forums. (btw could i be considered in the couples section with andrea and mitch lol) ANYWAYS!!! WHERE THE HELL WAS I???

ok that's all...my medication's wearing off, time for another dose =)

body combat

so i went to the gym today and tried out one of the aerobics classes called body combat. it was a crazy workout (martial arts and aerobics combined.) then to top it off, at the very end you think we pull out mats for a nice stretch and cool down. NOPE! the instructor made us do push ups and crunches! AND then she made us run a couple laps! but whatever...i feel better after a crappy day/week/month. anyways i think body combat will be part of my weekly workout routine =)

well i'm off to victoria tomorrow! see you guys next week! and have a very merry thanksgiving!

cheers.

let's reminisce: part one of many =)

i miss the summer...

donations for a new cell phone

ok so my phone is officially ghetto! some piece holding the battery broke off...so i had scotch tape together yesterday. however, that didn't get the job done. this morning i found my phone dead on the ground and the scotch tape starting to peel off the damn thing. so the only solution to this problem...duct tape =)

ok that's not the only solution. i could by a brand new phone i suppose. or better yet can you get a "meesa needs a new phone" donation campaign going and surprise me? haha

how's that for a random blog.